You may not know me, but I know you on some level. I know the negative thoughts that run through your head day-in, and day-out. I know the fears and insecurities that tear at your insides, and that little voice inside your head that makes you feel like you're not enough. I know what it's like to wake up and not think you are good enough for anyone or anything in this world, or to look at society's perception of beauty through 'the fake social media filter' and think, I'll never be that or those girls are so much better than me. Or what it's like to use those powerful negative words that cause so much heartbreak when we look in the mirror, such as “I am fat!”.
We live in a tough world. People can be extremely critical, cruel, and cold. There is also this very specific mould in which our society tries to fit individuals into a certain box so they can understand who we are. You're this, or you're that, and it's made to seem that there's no room in-between. We are obsessed with labels, with finding acceptance, not to mention living in a society with this ridiculous notion that we must ALWAYS be “perfect” all of the time. Women don’t just simply wake up one day and decide to hate their bodies - as a society we teach them to. That’s the worst bit.
Most of the biggest industries in the world are fuelled by our insecurities, lack of happiness, self acceptance and self love. Take a moment and let that sink in!
So if you're reading this and you currently or have in the past struggled with self-esteem, self-love, self-worth, or anything in-between, know that this is meant specifically for you. You need to hear this, and you need to know that you deserve every single moment of happiness and love that comes into your life. You deserve to be happy, to believe in yourself and to love every inch of who you are, inside and out.
Long story short, at the age of 13 I was picked on by the boys at school. I was picked on for the size of my bum and for not being skinny like the other girls. I was an athletic shape (still am), I had boobs, hips and a bum. I was different to the other girls at school and for that I was picked on. My insecurities were so much more than just about the way that I looked though. They were at my worth, self esteem, confidence and not feeling like I was good enough for anyone or anything in this world. So as a 17 year old girl, with some pretty big insecurities, I got into my first serious 4 year relationship. This relationship was incredibly abusive; physically, emotionally and mentally and it caused my already low self esteem to hit rock bottom. On a scale of 1-10 in confidence I wasn’t even on the charts.
I think we all have that moment in our lives where we were picked on or made fun of, or where someone says something negative about the way we look or crushes our self esteem, or we go through a tough time. It's generally this moment that we can pin point where our body image and self love issues start to develop.
Since that moment of hitting rock bottom I have become a woman who has worked HARD on herself. Extremely hard on herself. I had the power to choose my future, to choose how I wanted to live my life and the perception I had of myself and the world. I had the choice to be strong and stand tall. To pick myself up, brush myself off, start again and fight for who I wanted to become. It's not always an easy road, but I had the power and ability to make that choice. I now have more self confidence, self esteem and believe in my worth in this world than I ever imagined was possible.
Ladies, I am here to tell you that you do not have to fit a particular mould, you do not have to be a certain size or colour or age to be beautiful. Exactly who you are, exactly how you are, is exactly who you’re meant to be and in my option, you are pretty damn incredible exactly the way that you are. Something I wish someone could have told me 10 years ago.
We have to stop looking to social media and society to tell us what we’re meant to look like, what kind of lives we should be living and what we need to do to our face and body to make ourselves beautiful.
You’re already beautiful.
You want to know the sexiest most beautiful thing in the world on a woman?
HAPPINESS – which leads to CONFIDENCE…which ultimately just leads to more HAPPINESS.
If happiness is the goal - which it should be. We need to be spending every single day doing things and being around people that bring happiness into our lives.
One of the biggest things you’ll realise by doing all the things that make you happy is that you are whole, all by yourself. Everything you need is within yourself. Your happiness comes from within. Focus on yourself, and everything else will eventually fall into place. Tell yourself you are wonderful. Don’t hang out with anyone who makes you feel like you are not. Enjoy yourself. Eat good food. Travel to beautiful places. Experience incredible moments. Explore. Go on adventures. Laugh. Do whatever makes you happiest.
Do not minimise yourself to please or impress anyone else. Just radiate your amazing self and be you! I saw this quote the other day which stands so true to this - ‘Don’t ever be afraid to shine, remember the sun doesn’t give a fuck if it blinds you’ . You are the sun! So shine away! Don’t downplay your strengths: your intelligence, ambition, passion, drive, or kindness so others won’t feel intimidated or threatened. Anyone who thinks you are too anything for them is NOT enough for you. Whether that’s in relationships, career, family life or day to day, whether it’s about who you are or about the way that you look. You are beautiful exactly the way that you are, inside and out.
Maybe you don’t see people looking at you because you aren’t looking at them. Maybe you don’t hear all the incredible things they say about you, because you are too focused on the bad. Maybe you’re a lot more wonderful, beautiful and special than you ever give yourself credit for.
You are beautiful. You are incredible. You are pretty.
But just like every other woman in this world, you are more than just a pretty face. You are also pretty strong, pretty smart, pretty bold, pretty fierce, pretty tough, and pretty fucking amazing!!
Sending so much love your way today! I hope you have the most beautiful day!
Love Tam xx